Playing Catch Up

Hello, all. Well. None. 

I've had a pretty busy few days, and I'm sorry for not updating a blog that no one reads. My sister left for the airport to visit our mother for Christmas about an hour ago. We opened presents last night and a little bit on Friday. I got her Now You See Me on DVD, and it's her favorite movie ever, so that was great; I also got her an H.P.Lovecraft compendium, since she was really interested in reading it and she likes to have Her Own whatever it is - no pre-owned, no sharing - and the last two books in the Divergent series, since she wants to see the movie and the rule is "Not without reading the book first." I'm loaning her the first one, and Insurgent and Allegiant stayed behind because she wouldn't be able to do her break homework with literary distractions. 

I suppose I should be happy for her. For years, all she would read was Goosebumps and manga. Then she read Twilight and sort of got back into it, but she mostly just reads school books and fan fiction to this day. 

Our Dad got her a Phrase Of The Day calendar for her Latin class, which she's sort of failing - at least, that's the last I heard on the subject - and, on my instruction, a My Little Pony Monopoly game - she loves to be the banker and she loves MLP:FiM - and a really beautiful red bass guitar. 

Thus far, since I'm going to be in town for Christmas, I've gotten a French Phrase Of The Day calendar(Bleh) and the soundtrack to Baz Lurhman's The Great Gatsby(Yay!) from my Dad, and a floating desktop TARDIS that doesn't work because we can't put in batteries because we don't have the right gauge Phillip's head(Phooey) and a steel bangle made out of reused shrapnel from WWI to Afghanistan that helps fund the recovery of people and places damaged by war(WHEE) from my sister. 

She's pretty selfish most of the time, but she got that bracelet right. I mean. Wowie zowie. I love this thing to bits, and since it's one solid piece, it'll help me gauge how much weight I'm losing. It kind of sticks at the bottom knuckle and the thumb, and I could stand to lose some fat there, so it's perfect. 

I also got a boxed set of John Green's works, which I told my sister to tell my Dad to get me because he is utterly hopeless with presents, which is pretty freaking sweet. 

I've been underhydrating recently, which is stupid. I used to drink around forty cups of water a day. 

Forty. 

Cups. 

That's 320 oz. No wonder I feel like sh*t. Anyways, I'm trying to get up to a decent amount, and I'm going to do a saltwater flush as soon as I get my hands on pure mineral salt. 

There are tons of recipes online and, so far, none of them have worked. Which sucks. But, hey! Whatever. If the recipe off of Ana Regzig's blog(not her creation, but the one she uses) fails me again, I can always just buy a box of laxatives and die on the toilet of Elvis-level shame. 

See you on the skinny side, 

Swannie

Noodles Recipe

These noodles are delicious and 100% fat free. One batch makes four servings of noodles, and again, they look like normal people food, so nobody will question you or your eating habits. Plus, they soak up flavor really well since they're not all preservative-soaked, so you don't need much - if any - sauce. 

• 2 cups of flour(400 calories)
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt(0 calories)
• 1/2 cup of warn water, plus any extra you may need to get it into one smooth dough(0 calories)

Dump your dry ingredients into a bowl, then pour in the warm water. Mix it with a fork until it comes together, then flour your hands and knead it into a smooth ball. Let it sit, covered, for twenty minutes, then cut it into quarters. Leave the ones you're not currently using wrapped while you roll out the quarter you are using. Roll it out on a lightly floured surface until it's thin enough to suit your preferences, then cut it into strips or circles or whatever shape you'd like. Throw them in some boiling salted water to cook. They should be done in 3-5 minutes, or when they float up to the top. Dry them off and top with whatever you want. 

I like soy sauce(5 calories per packet, if you get takeaway Chinese) on mine, personally, but any sauce is good. If you throw in some low-calorie sauce and some veggies, it really does look like people food! I had mine with edamame(1/4 cup=50 calories) and two packets of soy sauce(10 calories), and my family suspected nothing.

Though, that may just be because I'm a fat fuck, and they have no reason to believe I have an eating disorder. 

See you on the skinny side, 

Swannie

19th December, 2013

So, no one is actually reading this. It's just people seeing my blog in scroogling ads and such the like. Fuck. 

Whatever. Today, I had a pear(127) for breakfast and some homemade noodles with edamame and soy sauce for lunch(160) and chicken teriyaki for dinner(150) for a grand total of 437 calories. Eww. 

I've also done some research online, and I might have fibromyalgia, which would explain my random pain, although that could also be explained by EDs. To sum up Marya Hornbacher's views on it, essentially, people with EDs are experiencing emotional pain, and they deal with it physically - through food, through exercise, through weight. That pain can also be manifested psychosomatically, as physical pain. 

Anyways. I'm plotting my Salt Water Flush. They've never worked for me before, but I'm gonna hope it does this time. I feel like there's a giant rock sitting in my stomach - my lower abdomen is rock hard along the digestive tract, which is gross - and I know that if it goes away, I'll drop down about four pounds.

Four. Whole. Pounds. 

This is very, very necessary. My sister will be out of town all winter break, so I can do it the first day she's gone, empty myself out, and then weigh in at 129.5lbs. Which is great, because at 128.0lbs, my collar bones and the affiliated tendons start to really show up, and I'd die for that. 

Fingers crossed that it works and I'll see you on the skinny side, 

Swannie

Sorry I'm Posting So Often

I haven't really got much to say, so I know this is really just me wasting your time. I'm sorry. I'm just sort of using you guys as a diary, sort of. I mean, I have a real diary, corporeal and such, but I suppose I just like the idea that someone out there wants to know me, wants to know my thoughts. 

Anyways, I'm currently working my way through the Alice Diet, which is great, but I sometimes forget what I'm supposed to eat that day. I'll post a link: http://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/2406-the-alice-diet/

I've been following this diet for a while, and I haven't done the best job of it, but I got down 7.0lbs on it anyways, which is great. I'd definitely recommend it. 

It's snowing a lot where I am. I'm pretty stoked for that, but it's not so big a deal, since we keep getting frozen rain after and that washes it away. It's kind of like my weight - I'll get it to a place that's sort of okay, and snow builds up, and everything's getting pretty, and then someone makes me eat or I cave in and I end up gaining back some of the loss, and it rains and washes away all that progress/snow. 

My apologies for that metaphor. It could have been good, but I've been told that it's hard to follow my train of thought some (read: all) of the time, so I went out of my way to clarify, and now, rereading, it sounds kinda crappy. 

Anyways, soon, I'm on winter break, and then the Alice Diet ends and I start fasting. If I'm not below 130.0lbs by Christmas, then I'll go back on diet pills. 

See you on the skinny side,

Swannie

Soup Review And Stats Update

The soup is delicious. I just thought that should be stated, but I didn't know where to put it in the last post. I'm just having a half-cup portion, and it's delicious and filling without making me feel bloated. 

Also, an update on my weight:

I now weigh 133.0lbs! Wheee!

See you on the skinny side, 

Swannie

Soup

I'm making some soup. 

It's fat free and pretty damn low calorie. 

I did it because my sister is sick, and our mom used to make us chicken noodle soup. We don't have any noodles, but it's still pretty good, though it's not finished yet. 

Here's the recipe:

• 4 cups Light Chicken Broth(20 calories)
• Eight baby carrots(32 calories)
• One tablespoon of scallions/green onions or the green parts of two scallions(2 calories)
• Two pinches of dried rosemary(0 calories)
• One clove of garlic, crushed(0 calories)
• One medium potato, with skin(163 calories)

Pour the broth into a big saucepan on high heat. Throw in two pinches of rosemary to steep while you chop the veggies. Carrots have a tendency to dry, so if you've had these carrots for more than three days, they should go in first. Chop them into reasonable slices and slide them in. Then wait until the broth is steaming to chop up your scallions and slide them in. Chop the potato into smallish pieces, or whatever size you'd prefer, and slide them in, too. After that, crush your garlic until it breaks and drop in the pieces - do not chop it, because the flavor won't release properly. Let the soup cook until the potatoes are soft, then serve. 

One entire pot is 217 calories, but you can dish it up in however many servings you'd like. Feel free to strain out the garlic and rosemary, if the textures are not appealing to you. 

Anyways, I hope that all six of you are doing well. I can't believe that six people have seen my blog so far, and I'm so pleased that someone's seen this blog. I hope this recipe is helpful, too; nobody associates chicken soup with starving, and it's a damn big portion, so you can graze all day. 

See you all on the skinny side,

Swannie

Wastrel

I am one. I'm worthless and pointless and terrible. I had a concert to perform in today at school. I had a solo that I'd arranged, and I was - I am - so proud of it. 

And then I didn't show up. 

I just hope that tomorrow I can weigh in lower. I need to get skinnier.